Ouch

Convicting [v, kun-vikt-ing]: evidence that impresses upon someone the feeling of guilt, defeat, or unreached standards.

(My definition)

Last night we had a really intense church service where videos were shown from the original Experiencing God series by Henry Blackaby. Maybe I was the only one who experienced some heavy duty convicting in the throw-back-to-the-eighties videos, but God was active in stomping down Sophie. I wanted to share some of the quotes I jotted down from Dr. Blackaby. (The ones that really convicted me are in blue)

• God doesn't give me a program of activity, He gives me Himself.
• God always asks us to do things we cannot do so that He comes and does it through us so both you and the people around you experience Him.
• Once you have a word from God, what you do next indicates what you believe about God.
• Let God make you the person He has on His mind. He does this through the Word.
• If I can figure it out, it's probably not God's will. His ways aren't my ways.
• No where in Scripture does God give a servant the right to dream dreams for God to do.
• I don't set long range plans or goals for fear I will reach them and never know what God really wanted. (This hit me like a thousand daggers aimed at my soul and hands tightly clutching my planner.)
• I put my heart before the One who has the long range plans.
• God is our equipment. He gave us the equipment to complete the task.
• The call is not to do something, the call is to a relationship.
• How you love God will determine your actions.
• We are impatient and say, "Don't just stand there, do something." God says, "Don't do something, just stand there."
• Waiting on God is not inactivity, it is the most active thing you can do.
• If we are in God's hands we can do anything God can do.

These are from my pastor:

• Wherever your focus is, there you will be. If you focus on your sins you will never get over them.
• As faith in God produces joy and peace, faith in self will always produce anxiousness and fear because you're putting your trust in someone who is not capable to solve the problems.

It's convicting me all over again just writing these out. 

Praying for desperate dependence on the Author of life and not myself,

Fireworks

Last weekend I sold light-up toys at fireworks displays around the area, one of which toys was a blinking pacifier that I had to wear around my neck (sometimes in my mouth) accompanied by a leather fanny pack around the waist.

So classy.

Despite the redneck-ish effect the flashing toys had, I am still grateful for the job and the privilege of working with one of my best friends.

While watching the fireworks and hearing the oohs and ahhs of the audience, I started thinking about deep and theological matters:

A. What do people on airplanes experience when fireworks are going off?

That seriously is a concern of mine.

B. I think God speaking the stars into existence were much like fireworks. At least in my imagination.

"By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth." -Psalm 33:6

Picture it, God breathed out the stars. It was like a firework only infinitely better and they didn't disappear after a few glimmering seconds- they stuck. Forever.

That. is. awesome.

The Milky Way Galaxy. We live in there. Looks kind of like a firework, huh? 

Awestruck of God's hugeness and hoping for a movie of creation in heaven,

I am not, but I know I AM.

Up until today, this week has had a discouraging twinge to it. Nothing "bad" happened, it just wasn't one of my favorite weeks. I couldn't really put my finger on it until last night after True Beauty when I once again came face-to-face with an earth-shattering revelation.

I'm not called to be the Holy Spirit 2.

Shocking.

The girls in True Beauty (I would abbreviate but I don't want to be misunderstood as talking about Tuberculosis) have so much of my heart and I want them to come to know Christ so badly with a burden that intensifies with each passing week. They are at the age I was when God in His mercy began opening my eyes to the fact that morality does not equal salvation, and my only hope was through His heart-transforming handiwork.

I want these girls to experience that same thing. I want them to see God as more than a supreme being with wrath and justice and I want them to see Jesus as more than a storybook figure. They are the very source of life, acceptance and love they so desperately crave.

As I was praying for them last night and confessing to God my discouragement at their lack of conversion, He gently and lovingly reminded me of my place. It's not on any sort of throne or really large thing above people- it's on my knees. It's on campus at Murray. It's at press conferences, in the newsroom, and in my column. It's in the classroom, kitchen, and craft room, teaching these precious girls about Him. It's not my place or duty to save, it's my place to speak the truth I've received and leave the details to God.

God's infinite and gloriously sweet grace never fails to humble and leave me amazed and awestruck at His love- He loves me! Me. Why, I don't know, but His Word says He does and I believe His Word. It was His relentless love that sent Jesus to the cross and it is that same love that sends the Holy Spirit to convict us. What mercy! He could let us continue on swimming in our sins, selfishness, and seclusion from Him, but He brings us back and continues shaping us into the image of His Son.

Wow.

Today in True Beauty a few things went "wrong." The hot water handle broke off while the water was going which resulted in a phone call to my dad and buckets of water on the counter before a pair of pliers finally shut the water off.

So exciting.

The girls were working on making invitations to their final project in the craft room when I walked in and was immediately shewed away. "Don't come in, don't come in!" They squealed.

The next thing I know they tell me to go look at my door. This is what I find...

I may or may not have teared up a little.

Okay, fine. I cried.

Then as I was going through the pictures from the day I found these...

Before I knew it little rivers were running down my cheeks again. It was just so sweet and completely unexpected. I love these girls so much.

Please pray for their hearts. Pray that they will not have temporary behavior modifications to please me, their parents, or anyone else, but that they will have soul transformations. Pray that God protects them and saves them while they are young. He did it for me, He can do it for them.

Depending on His Spirit,

Christ's Call to Follow in His Footsteps

This is real. Please take 4.5 minutes to watch this video by K.P. Yohannan

Oreo Cupcakes

Two posts in one day? Told you I was in a weird mood. The weirdness led me to make a batch of Oreo cupcakes and to take photos of the journey. 

Start out with cupcake liners and put half of a Double-Stuf Oreo in the bottom.

 Then mix a box of cake mix (I used dark chocolate fudge) according to directions and spoon into liners.

 Bake for 17 minutes at 350 degrees.

 Frost with Oreo icing (recipe to follow), place half an Oreo on top and enjoy!

Oreo Icing:
1 3/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons whipping cream
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
6 tablespoons Oreo cookies, finely crushed


Side note- This made 41 cupcakes. I should have made more icing, they would have looked and tasted better had I done so. However, they are still tasty and hopefully will be a hit at the church fellowship meal tomorrow. 


7/3/11 side note- Don't put the Oreo on top until you serve the cupcakes, otherwise they will get soggy and fall over. Not the prettiest or appetizing thing to look at, learn from my mistakes.

Weird mood = blog post

I'm in a baking-writing-swimming-movie-watching sort of mood. So, I'm taking a break from editing a sermon transcript to write a few random things.


First off, I just love summer. How awesome are these long days filled with sunshine and warm smells? I adore the smell of freshly cut grass, sunshine-baked dirt, and chlorine and sunscreen. It's no secret I'm quite fond of flip flops too. In fact, I don't remember the last time I wore socks due to the miles I'm putting on my beloved flops. Yes, summer is the season for me. 


Secondly, I love what I get to do this summer. I'm interning with my church (Oak Grove Baptist), which involves leading True Beauty, a summer discipleship program for girls ages 6-14 on how to be a godly woman, and transcribing and editing sermons. I get to listen to sermons all day, then read them over and over and call it a job. Ha! Best job ever. 


Thirdly, baking has become an obsession. I'm teaching the older True Beauty girls how to cook, clean, and sew this summer and through that process I'm falling in love with cooking all over again. The mixers, flour dust, fresh fruit, spatulas, pots and pans, and brand new recipes blend together (no pun intended) to create a masterpiece that so many people can enjoy. What a gift cooking can be, and I forgot all about it's little sugar-crusted self. 


Fourthly, I'm becoming more and more content with where God has me. Well, besides the constant yearning to be in Africa. I love teaching the girls and I love transcribing sermons. I love spending hours at night chatting with Elisabeth Elliot through her stories (she chats, I mostly try to read into what she's saying. Pun completely intended), and I love being with my family. I love being discipled by my Pastor and his wife. I love being single and getting to spend so much time with God, just Him and me. He is showing me so much right now, and I know me- I know if I had a boyfriend/husband I would be severely tempted to depend more on them than on the Lord. God is so gracious in giving us exactly what we need- if I needed a husband, I would have one. But I don't, because I need more of God first. 

Here are a few other random things I've fallen in love with this summer:

• James (the book of)
• Hebrews (especially chapter 11 which is packed with encouragement in every line)
• Zumba
• Blue ink pens
• Sewing
• Making headbands
• Blogging (it's a return to that love)
• Spending time with God outside (reading the Word, journaling, etc)

"Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory. Take my life and let it be Yours."